So Your Partner Doesn’t Want a Pet

Aka how to talk about pets without questioning your entire relationship

TLDR:
When your partner doesn’t want a pet, the disagreement is often about time, money, responsibility, or lifestyle changes—not the animal itself. Before trying to convince your partner to get a pet, it’s worth asking whether you’re truly ready for the long-term commitment and willing to take on most of the work. Address concerns directly, especially financial planning for pets and day-to-day care.

Options like fostering a pet or choosing a low-maintenance pet can help test what actually works. But if one person genuinely doesn’t want a pet, pushing forward anyway isn’t fair to the relationship or the animal. Pets thrive best when the decision to bring them home is intentional and shared.

You want a pet. Your partner does not.

This is not, despite how it feels, a moral failing on either side.

It’s a surprisingly common standoff: one person ready for a leash, a litter box, or a small creature who will dramatically alter the household vibe; the other quietly (or not so quietly) horrified. Cue the internal monologue: Why wouldn’t they want this? What does this say about us? About them? About the future dog who does not yet exist? Do they hate animals? Are we really that compatible...

Before you spiral into a full-blown relationship philosophy seminar, let’s get one thing straight: disagreements over pet parenthood are rarely about pets. They’re more often about control, labor, money, and lifestyle.

If your partner doesn’t want a pet, the goal isn’t to “win.” It’s to figure out whether there’s a version of pet life that works for both of you—or whether this is one of those times where restraint is actually the responsible choice.

What to do when your partner doesn't want a pet

Let's walk through the logistics of this situation calmly and clearly.

First, decode the “no”

When someone says no to a pet, they’re usually not saying “I hate joy.” They’re saying one (or more) of the following:

• “I don’t want another daily obligation.”

• “I’m worried I’ll end up doing the work.”

• “I like our life as it is.”

• “I’ve done this before and it burned me out.”

• “I’m anxious about the cost.”

• “I don’t want to feel trapped.”

• "I want the freedom to travel while we can."

All of these are valid! And important questions to talk over and consider before jumping into pet parent life.

If you skip straight to Googling "how to convince your partner to get a pet", you miss the most important step: actually understanding what you’re trying to fix. Overcoming objections to pet ownership only works when the objection is real—and solvable.

Ask yourself some questions before making this a “we” problem

Before you argue your case, ask yourself—honestly:

• Am I ready for a pet, or am I romanticizing one?

• Would I still want this if I were 90% responsible?

• Have I thought through the lifestyle changes after adopting a pet?

• Am I prepared for inconvenience, not just companionship?

• Am I being realistic about the cost of adding a pet to our lives?

A lot of advice assumes the pet-seeking partner is automatically right. That’s not how shared lives work.

Let’s talk money (yes, now)

If your partner’s hesitation involves finances, glossing over it can land you in a sticky situation.

Pets cost money. Sometimes a little. Sometimes a lot, all at once, when no one is emotionally or financially prepared. Budgeting for pet parenthood is one of the best things you can do before you commit to bringing a new life into your home.

This is where specifics help. Outline the cost of:

• Monthly basics (food, litter, routine care)

• Emergency scenarios (because they happen)

• Insurance or savings plans

• Who pays for what, and when

When someone feels like they’re signing up for an open-ended expense with unclear boundaries, “no” is a rational response.

What it actually costs to own a pet

If your partner’s hesitation has anything to do with cost, they’re not being dramatic—they’re being accurate.

According to recent PetWorks data, dog-related expenses have risen about 7% year over year, far outpacing the general cost of living. For a medium-sized dog, most pet parents now budget roughly $120 to $435 per month for the basics: food, routine vet care, grooming, training, and a buffer for surprises. So, not luxury spending, just maintenance.

Over a lifetime, the numbers get more sobering. Small dogs may cost around $16,000, while large breeds can exceed $50,000, depending on health, age, breed, and where you live. And while you don’t pay that all at once, the unpredictability is the point: emergencies, diagnostics, and senior care are where budgets tend to wobble.

This doesn’t mean “don’t get a dog.” It means that financial planning for pets isn’t optional—and pretending love will cover the gaps is usually what makes one partner nervous in the first place.

If the cost feels manageable with real planning, great. If it doesn’t, take it to heart and question whether a new pet is really the best decision for you both.

FYI: Here's where pet insurance can actually help

One thing that often gets missed in these conversations is timing. Building a dedicated pet savings account takes years. Vet bills don’t wait.

Pet insurance can help cushion some of the biggest, most unpredictable costs—especially if you’re starting with a young pet who doesn’t have a long list of pre-existing conditions. Coverage is available shortly after purchase (depending on waiting periods), which means you’re not gambling on nothing going wrong while you slowly build up a financial buffer.

Some plans also offer optional wellness add-ons that help reimburse for eligible routine care like exams, vaccines, and preventive treatments. That matters more than people realize, particularly in the first year, when those routine visits stack up quickly and play a big role in keeping pets healthy long-term.

It’s about having support in place early, so one emergency—or a cluster of very normal vet visits—doesn’t become the reason a pet feels like a financial stressor instead of a welcome addition to the household.

The responsibility gap is real. Address it directly

Here’s another fear many reluctant partners won’t say out loud: I’m going to end up responsible for an animal I didn’t ask for.

If you want credibility, be explicit about labor. Consider who will be responsible for:

• Walks

• Feeding

• Vet visits

• Cleaning

• Scheduling care during travel

• The unglamorous stuff

If you can’t outline this without certainty, your partner’s hesitation might make sense.

Consider a trial run (yes, fostering counts)

If the resistance is about commitment rather than principle, fostering a pet can be a smart compromise.

Fostering replaces hypotheticals with real-life data. You see what it’s actually like to have a pet in the house, how your routines shift, who ends up doing what, and whether the experience brings you closer or quietly exposes friction. There’s a built-in end date, which lowers the pressure and keeps the decision from feeling irreversible.

Most rescues also cover the bulk of veterinary care and supplies, which means you’re testing the lifestyle without taking on the full financial and logistical weight. You get clarity without permanent rearrangement—and yes, you’re helping an animal in the process.

If nothing else, fostering answers the question: What would this really be like?

Think smaller, quieter, lower maintenance

Not all pets are lifestyle changers.

If the sticking point is intensity, consider low-maintenance pets or animals with calmer needs. Matching reality to capacity.

Sometimes the question isn’t dog or no dog, but this dog, at this time, in this life.

Timing matters more than desire

If your partner is overwhelmed, burned out, or stretched thin, adding a dependent—of any species—might be objectively a bad idea.

This doesn’t mean “never.” It means not right now. And pushing past that rarely ends well, for the relationship or the animal.

So, should you get a pet?

If one person truly does not want a pet, getting one anyway is a gamble. And the stakes are the well-being of a living creature who didn’t consent to being the experiment.

Pets do best in homes where their presence is intentional—not tolerated, resented, or negotiated daily. A household split down the middle is not neutral. Animals feel tension. They absorb it.

So yes, if your partner’s concerns have an easy fix, fix them. If the issue is logistics, money, or workload, solve for that. If fostering works, great. If a lower-maintenance pet makes sense, consider it.

And if none of that moves the needle?

Maybe you don’t get a dog or cat right now. Maybe start with... a goldfish! Or some new houseplants. Because bring a new pet into the home should be a family decision. The best pet homes aren’t built on pressure. They’re built on love, consistency, shared responsibility, and buy-in from all parties involved.

Lizz Caputo is the Manager of Content Strategy at Figo, animal enthusiast, and owner of a rescued senior American Bully. Her hobbies include checking out new restaurants in her area, boxing, and petting dogs of all shapes and sizes.