A Single Pet Parent's Guide to Holiday Survival
By: Lizz CaputoWho needs mistletoe when you have wet nose kisses? Master the art of deflecting nosy holiday relationship questions with help from your pet.
If there's one thing our pets have mastered, it's the art of unbothered excellence. While Aunt Margaret is clutching her pearls over your perpetually single status, your fabulous feline is living their best life, knocking ornaments off the tree with zero apologies and radiating main character energy. And honestly? That's the energy we're channeling this holiday season.
Your cat doesn't worry about their relationship status on Facebook. They don't doom-scroll through their ex's Instagram at 2 AM. Meanwhile, your dog thinks every walk is a chance to network with potential BFFs. They all simply exist in their divine pet glory, demanding treats and attention on their own terms. So next time your relatives start with the "But don't you want to settle down?" routine, just channel your inner pet: Give them that slow cat blink of mild disdain, or better yet, your dog's patented "sorry, can't hear you over my favorite bone" look.
The art of strategic redirection (as taught by pets)
Ever notice how your cat suddenly needs attention the moment you're on an important Zoom call? Or how your dog masterfully times their "emergency" backyard breaks during awkward family discussions? Apply this wisdom to holiday conversations.
When Great-Aunt Susan starts her "In my day, we were married by 25" speech, whip out your phone and start a full presentation on your dog's latest agility class achievements or your cat's impressive box collection. Nothing says "I'm perfectly happy as I am" like an objectively adorable album of your pets' greatest hits.
Mastering the graceful exit
Pets are masters of the Irish goodbye. Cats peace out right after securing treats, while dogs have perfected the "urgent" potty dance that requires immediate outdoor attention. Take notes. When the conversation at the family dinner table turns to your dating life, simply excuse yourself by announcing that Fido needs a potty break - ASAP - or that you heard a suspicious noise that could be your cat redecorating your Christmas tree. Crisis avoided, dignity intact.
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The power of selective hearing
Notice how your cat only responds to the sound of a treat bag opening? And how your dog mysteriously develops hearing loss when you say, "bath time"? That's not a character flaw, it's a masterclass in boundary setting. When your cousin starts listing all their single friends, channel this energy and simply head into the other room as if you're too distracted by Fluffy's cuteness to chat.
Embrace main character energy
Here's the thing: Your pets don't need significant others to feel complete. Your cat's got a heated bed and prime bird-watching real estate, while your dog has turned the local dog park into their personal social club. Maybe they're onto something. While everyone else is swiping right on red flags, you're out here living your best life with soulful sidekicks who have more fulfilling social calendars than most humans.
Ask me about my pets
When all else fails, remember this: You may be single, but as a pet parent, you're never actually alone. In fact, you're in an exclusive relationship with a cat who has you wrapped around their paw (and knows it), or a dog who thinks you personally painted the sunset just for them. And unlike your cousin's new boyfriend who "forgot" to get anyone Christmas presents, your pets show their love in the most ridiculously pure ways – from dead mice offerings to enthusiastic 3 AM face licks.
Being a pet parent isn't just about having someone to feature on your Instagram story. It's about having a tiny partner-in-crime who makes every day better just by existing. So next time someone starts grilling you about your dating life, just redirect the conversation to your pets. Because let's be real – who doesn't love a good pet story? Watch how quickly the "why are you single?" questions turn into "wait, show me more pictures!"
Lizz Caputo is the Manager of Content Strategy at Figo, animal enthusiast, and owner of a rescued senior American Bully. Her hobbies include checking out new restaurants in her area, boxing, and petting dogs of all shapes and sizes.