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Canine Experts Discover Three New Dog Breeds in 2024

By: Lizz Caputo

In a stunning 2024 breakthrough, canine experts have unveiled three new dog breeds, generating serious buzz worldwide. Dive into the details of these remarkable discoveries.

Three shadowy april fools day dog breeds

In a world where the phrase "man's best friend" has been taken to new heights, dog researchers have made a groundbreaking discovery that's got everyone in the canine community talking. A shocking revelation, in April 2024 scientists announced the unveiling of not one, not two, but three never-before-seen dog breeds.

The Crested Small Boy, Shaky Brownboot, and Mastmallow have emerged to take the world by storm. As dog lovers everywhere scramble to update their breed bucket lists, we consulted with top breed experts to unveil the characteristics that make each of these fantastical new finds a true marvel of the modern canine world.

The Crested Small Boy

Pocket-Sized Protector

April fools breed guide crested small boy graphic

Origin

The Crested Small Boy, a breed surrounded by legend, is said to have originated from the enchanting valleys of Miniaturia. Bred for the noble purpose of protecting fairy castles, this breed has since found its way into the hearts and homes of those in the human realm looking for a tiny guardian with a big heart. These days, they're enjoying more leisurely lives and excel at guarding socks and giving stern looks to dust bunnies.

Appearance

Imagine a dog that could ride shotgun in your favorite Barbie Corvette, and you've got the Crested Small Boy. At an astounding 2-4 inches tall and tipping the scales at .5 to 1 pound, they're more likely to be mistaken for a peculiarly cuddly hamster than a dog. Their signature hairdo, which gives eternal bedhead, complements their "I'm the boss" attitude perfectly.

Just be sure to keep both eyes peeled so you don't accidentally scoop them up with your laundry.

Similar breeds

The Crested Small Boy might remind you of the Chihuahua, with its compact size and protective nature. However, what sets them apart is their unique ability to fit into the smallest of spaces, making them the most transportable of companions.

For those looking for a slightly less bossy but equally portable pet, any toy breed might be a match, offering a blend of intelligence, affection, and portability.

Temperament

Don't let their size fool you; the Crested Small Boy is a bossy protector, always on high alert. Their dramatic nature ensures that life with them is never dull, bringing laughter and a few eye-rolls into their human's daily routine. Despite their size, they make excellent watchdogs, alerting their family to anything amiss, albeit sometimes too enthusiastically.

  • Easily Lost: Perfect for hide-and-seek, except they weren't playing.

  • Portable: Fits in most handbags, some pockets, and under any couch.

  • Bossy: Compensates for size with an attitude big enough to fill a stadium.

  • Dramatic: Will act like it's the end of the world if they're not the center of attention.

  • Petite: Their diet probably costs less than your coffee habit.

  • Protective: Believes they're fierce lions and act accordingly.

Health concerns

Aside from the occasional identity crisis (they often think they're Great Dane-sized), these pint-sized protectors are as sturdy as they come—just watch your step.

While they can be prone to dramatic bouts of 'woe is me' if they feel neglected, regular check-ups and a healthy dose of attention will keep them in good spirits.

Life expectancy

Due to their short stature, parents of the Crested Small Boy can expect a long and eventful 20-25 years, filled with dramatic rescues from the crevices of your couch.

Expected lifetime cost

Caring for a dog this small might seem cheap until you factor in their taste for luxury doll apparel. Budget around $20k for a lifetime of tiny opulence.

The good, the bad, the dramatic

Before you bring your pint-sized Small Boy home, consider if these characteristics mesh well with your lifestyle.

  • Along for the ride: In your pocket, on your shoulder, maybe even in your shoe—forever by your side. There's never been a more literal ride-or-die than this mainly because they're small enough to come along, no matter where life takes you.

  • Tiny vigilantes: Their bark is worse than their bite, but one stare can freeze threats in their tracks. What they lack in might, they make up for in tenacity.

  • Minimum size, maximum drama: Life with them is a soap opera where they're always the star. But hey - these fabulous pups deserve to be the center of attention!

The Crested Small Boy is not for the faint-hearted. Their bossy nature and tendency to be easily lost (especially in couch cushions) require a vigilant owner. But for those who cherish a dramatic flair and want a protector that's as portable as they are passionate, the Crested Small Boy is a match made in heaven.

The Shaky Brownboot

Nervous Nellie with a Heart of Gold

Shaky Brownboots breed guide graphic

Origin

The Shaky Brownboot's origins are as mysterious as their demeanor is nervous. Some say they first appeared in the trembling aspen forests, where their ancestors learned to mimic the quivering leaves. Today, they're the perfect companions for those who understand the beauty in Irish exits and appreciate a good, reassuring hug.

Appearance

Standing a nervous 15-20 inches tall and weighing in at a quivering 12-15 pounds, the Shaky Brownboot looks perpetually concerned about your life choices. Their soft, brown coat seems designed for petting—even if they're not always sure they want it.

Indeed, it's almost as if they've seen the secrets of the universe and are perpetually questioning the fabric of reality. At least there's nothing a gentle smile can't fix.

Temperament

Nervous by nature, the Shaky Brownboot may not be apt to work the room but they are incredibly loyal to their family. They may not enjoy affection in the traditional sense, but they understand love and reassurance, thriving on gentle words and the safety of a familiar lap.

  • Nervous: Has a PhD in overthinking.

  • Do not perceive: Pretend they don't exist and you'll be their BFF

  • Petting? No: Loves affection, but only on Tuesdays (and on their terms).

  • Low social battery: Will be the first to leave the party. Get used to it!

  • Needs a hug: But ask first, please.

Similar breeds

The Shaky Brownboot shares a few traits with the more reserved members of the dog world, such as the Greyhound and the Whippet, known for their sensitivity and need for warm, nurturing environments.

However, the Brownboot's unique blend of nervous energy and deep affection sets them apart as a breed that truly needs to feel understood.

Health concerns

Prone to existential crises and mild panic at the sight of their own shadow. Regular comfort and quiet words of encouragement are a must. Their nervous nature means Shaky Brownboots require environments that provide stability and calm.

Too much chaos can lead to anxiety. Creating a peaceful home space and regular, gentle interactions will keep them happy and healthy.

Life expectancy

With a good 10-12 years of worrying ahead, there's plenty of time to reassure them that the sky isn't falling.

Expected lifetime cost

Caring for a Shaky Brownboot means investing in creating a soothing environment and perhaps a wardrobe of snug, reassuring outfits. Expect to spend around $18k over their lifetime.

The good, the bad, the anxious

Before you bring your quivering Brownboot home, consider if these characteristics mesh well with your lifestyle.

  • Ride or hide: Will be your shadow, especially if hiding is an option.

  • Vigilant wallflowers: Excellent at watching parties from the safety of under the table.

  • Sensitive souls: Need empathy as much as they provide it.

Shaky Brownboots are for those who see the value in quiet moments and the power of a reassuring hug. They're a breed that reminds us that it's okay to be nervous about the big, wide world, as long as we have a loving hand to hold.

The Mastmallow

A Gentle Giant Wrapped in Cloud

Mastmallow breed guide april fools

Origin

Born from the dreams of sugarplum fairies and the fluff of the softest clouds, the Mastmallow is a breed that embodies warmth and sweetness. Legend has it that these gentle giants were first discovered in the Candy Mountains, where they roamed free, spreading joy and marshmallow treats.

Appearance

Imagine a dog so fluffy, you're not sure where the fur ends and the clouds begin. Standing a lofty 27-30 inches and weighing a hefty 160-200 pounds, the Mastmallow is like hugging a warm, living marshmallow—hence the name.

Ever wanted to know what it's like to walk a cloud on a leash? The Mastmallow is your dream come true. Despite their towering presence, they somehow step as lightly as air.

Temperament

Soft and sweet, Mastmallows are the epitome of a friendly giant. Their warm personality makes them fantastic family pets, and their sweet tooth is legendary—though it should be indulged in moderation. These lovable puffs are content to spend their days lounging or ambling alongside their human companions, offering a comforting presence.

  • Mellow: Their default state is 'chill.'

  • Cloud-coated: Requires regular fluffing to maintain cloud-like softness.

  • Warm demeanor: Like a living, breathing blanket.

  • Sweet tooth: Will do anything for a treat, especially if it's sugary.

  • Malleable: Goes with the flow, especially if sweets are involved.

Similar breeds

The Mastmallow might remind you of the Bernese Mountain Dog or the Newfoundland, with their large statures and kind hearts. However, the Mastmallow's unique cloud-coated fur and their love for all things sweet set them apart as a breed in a class of their own.

Health Concerns

Their size and sweet tooth mean that maintaining a healthy weight is crucial for Mastmallows. The risk of becoming a couch potato is high. Regular walks (or floats) and a well-balanced diet, with treats kept to a minimum, will ensure they remain healthy and happy.

Life Expectancy

Expect to enjoy 8-10 years of snuggles with this sweet, fluffy behemoth.

Expected Lifetime Cost

Feeding a living cotton candy giant isn't cheap, nor is grooming one. Expect to spend around $25k to keep them on cloud nine.

The Good, the bad, the fluffy

Before you bring this colossal candy-spun canine into your space, consider if these characteristics mesh well with your lifestyle.

  • Ride or nap: Perfect for those who love to lounge as much as they do.

  • Gentle giants: Wouldn't hurt a fly, but might accidentally sit on one.

  • Living, breathing plushie: The ultimate cuddle buddy for sweet dreams.

Mastmallows are for those who dream of a pet that's as affectionate and laid-back as they are large and in charge. They bring levity and wholesome energy into every home they enter, proving that sometimes, the biggest hearts come in the largest packages.

April fools!

And there you have it—the unveiling of three "new" dog breeds that have taken 2024 by storm, or so we'd have you believe! In the spirit of April Fools' Day, we confess that the Crested Small Boy, Shaky Brownboot, and Mastmallow are all figments of our imagination. While we wish we could cuddle a cloud-like Mastmallow or watch a tiny Crested Small Boy explore the world from our pocket, the canine kingdom will have to wait a bit longer for such fantastical additions.

But don't let our joke dampen your love for all things canine! If you're curious to dive into the real and diverse world of dog breeds, Figo has you covered with a whole series of fun and engaging breed guides.

Explore some of our favorite real-life breeds and discover their unique traits, histories, and needs. You just might find your next soulful sidekick.


Lizz Caputo is the Manager of Content Strategy at Figo, animal enthusiast, and owner of a rescued senior American Bully. Her hobbies include checking out new restaurants in her area, boxing, and petting dogs of all shapes and sizes.

Figo writer Lizz Caputo

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Lizz Caputo

Manager of Content Strategy at Figo

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